Shifting my words before her to see her smile…
She was raised in a little and popular town and she’s fabulous at making friends, and getting great deals also. She is a lovely woman, she can walk really fast, and she is known by a lot of people. I visited some web, and ask to some people who understand the matter; some experts come with different ideas or theories about the disease she is experiencing now. In general is as if all is a consequence of the side effects of some medication she needs to take, and some said that she being alone most of the time make her embrace depression wich is another cause of it. My grandma have Senile Dementia at 86. The new beginning is on the table.
Seems to me like at some point she can be aware of how this is beginning to happen to her, and this very season almost like is pushing her nature into wanting to control the little she can control yet. If it was me I would do just the same. And I’m very very special at being right. This is a period in my life where I’m learning new ways to love her. To mature.
It would be wonderful if suddenly the “toughness of mind” comes back in track as her old days, but if not, ALL I want is to be all that I can be to support my Grandma’s path. In one of my early writings I had mention about losing the control when becomes legalistic, taking notice that order is always the great counselor, but clarity of the situation must run the place first. PARADOX must reign. All the disorder of conversations, points, recipes, does, and don’ts; all just remind me of when a Child is born into the world. Have you seen that jet?: …”All running around, the screams, the push..push…push, faces sweating. Peace, then is not the absence of blur, but is not getting crazy in the mist of it.” The sparkles that goes just Under our Skin are the greatest. Ever.
Walking like this with my conclusions and my hopes, I just wish with all my heart that I can learn to do this at best. To honor my Grandma, and to honor God. Grandma took care of us before my parents got trouble, and she worked very hard for all that we had carry out in life, like now is my turn in going extra mills when is required of me, even if I never knew her. But I do. My load is just mine.
Taking some faults like burning the pot when I wasn’t even there, or pulling the wrong spoons in the middle of my sleep? I said: SO WHAT! Still little blur for some folk like me that use to be at charge on being always right, but I guess is best to just be at peace. I’m the only person who has control over it. Some times take me a great while to put my armor and start to walk to the masses of wolves waiting to devour me, but GREATER is He who lives in me, and thru me….if I let my Lamp stand to shine and shine. I am not the one who has pay the price for me to have that right, but I’m smart. So all I’m going to do is to take advantage. I’m TAKING advantage of Grace. Yes! That’s me.
Are you walking in faith? Are you jet walking? My advice? …..RUN!!!!!!