Peeling the orange's Blog

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Posts Tagged ‘clean joke

Happiness, an Inside Job. Felicidad, un Trabajo Interior.

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If you have a leaky facet in your house so you cut the lawn, take the garbage out and sweep the driveway,
it won’t solve the leak. Doing the wrong thing faster, better or with kingdom values will not solve the problem.
Trying to solve an inside problem by working outside is just a dumb idea.

Happiness is an inside job! If you are unhappy on the inside nothing you do on the outside will solve it….
People are often under the illusion that they will be happy when; they get married, pay off their debt, get their
degree, win that competition, have children, write that book or move to a certain city etc…But the truth is that
internal problems can not be fixed with external solutions.

Many marriages are destroyed by this illusion; Johnny doesn’t make me happy. After 15 years of marriage Mary still doesn’t turn me on. NO ONE can make you happy! It is humanly impossible to make someone happy.Whenever we make our happiness the responsibility of a person, accomplishment or a possession; we have just created an idol. The saddest part of all this is that this misplaced responsibility only takes us deeper down the road of emptiness.

The kingdom of God is not eat or drink but righteous, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Living guilt free,
peaceful and happy is only obtain by cultivating a deep relationship with the Holy Spirit. Our inner God void can never be filled from a outside source any more than your leak in your facet can be solved by cutting your lawn. Happiness is n inside job and only someone who lives in the house can solve the issues that reside there. Get happy and then live it out loud!

Si tu tienes un caño que esta goteando en tu casa y tu cortas el grass de tu jardin, sacas la basura y trapeas el estacionamiento, eso no resolvera la gotera. Haciendo lo equivocado de forma mas rapida, mejor o con valores del reino no resolvera el problema. Tratar de resolver un problema interior trabajando desde afuera es una idea tonta. La Felicidad es un trabajo interior! Si tu eres infeliz en el interior nada que hagas desde afuera lo resolvera…La gente esta siempre bajo la ilusion de que ellos seran felizes cuando; ellos se casen, pagen todas sus deudas, obtengan su titulo, ganen la competencia, tengan hijos, escriban ese libro o se muden a una cierta ciudad etc… Pero la verdad es que los problemas interiores no pueden ser reparados con soluciones externas.

Muchos matrimonios son destruidos por esta ilusion; Juancito no me hace feliz. Despues de 15 años de matrimonio Maria no me enciende. NADIE puede hacerte feliz! Es humanamente imposible el hacer a alguien feliz. Cuando sea que nosotros hacemos nuestra felicidad la responsabilidad de una persona, logro, o una posecion; nosotros hemos creado un idolo. La parte triste de todo es que esta responsabilidad puesta equivocadamente solo nos lleva mas abajo hacia la ruta del vacio total.

El Reino de Dios no es el comer y el beber pero la justicia, paz y gozo en el Espiritu Santo. Vivir fuera de culpa, en paz y feliz solo es obtenido cultivando una profunda relacion con el Espiritu Santo. Nuestro vacio interno de Dios nunca puede ser reemplazado por un medio externo como tampoco una gotera en tu caño puede ser resuelto por cortar el grass de tu jardin. La Felicidad es un trabajo interior y solo alguien que vive en la casa puede resolver los asuntos que residen ahi. Se feliz y luego vivelo al maximo!

From KVMinistries.com

 

Written by peelingtheorange

March 25, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Posted in Furious Love

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Know Your Friends

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One day, a little boy visited a doctor for a vaccination. After the doctor gave him an injection, he tried to bandage the boy’s arm.

“I think you’d better bandage the other arm, doc!”, said the boy.

“But, why? I’m supposed to bandage the injected part of your arm to let your friends know not to touch it.”

“Doc, you really don’t know anything about how my friends behave!”

Cybersalt.

Written by peelingtheorange

August 31, 2011 at 12:21 am

Posted in Giggles

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Wacky Definitions

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Wacky Definitions

Gravity: Not just a good idea, it’s the law!

Gross ignorance: 144 times worse than normal ignorance.

Clock: A small mechanical device to wake up people without children.

Karaoke: A Japanese word meaning “tone deaf”.

Opera: Where a guy gets stabbed in the back and sings about it.

Racial prejudice is a pigment of the imagination.

“Normal”: A setting on a washing machine.

Health: The slowest possible rate of dying.

Poverty: Having too much month left at the end of the money.

Boy: A noise with dirt on it.

Sleep: That fleeting moment just before the alarm goes off.

Cynic: Someone who smells the flowers and looks for the casket.

Witlag: The delay between delivery and comprehension of a joke.

Skier: Someone who pays an arm and a leg to break them.

Cybersalt.

Written by peelingtheorange

May 21, 2011 at 11:41 am

Work Virus

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There is a new virus going around, called “work”. If you receive any sort of “work” at all, whether via email, internet or simply handed to you by a colleague…DO NOT OPEN IT.

Work has been circulating around our building for months and those who have been tempted to open “work” or even look at “work” have found that their social life is deleted and their brain ceases to function properly.

If you do encounter “work” via email or are faced with any “work” at all, to purge the virus, send an email to your boss with the words “Sorry…I’m off to Home Depot.” The “work” should then be automatically deleted from your brain.

If you receive “work” in paper-document form, simply lift the document and drag the “work” to your garbage can. Put on your coat and skip to the nearest cafe with two friends and order three double chocolate espressos. After repeating this action 10 times, you will find that “work” will no longer be of any relevance to you.

Send this message to everyone in your address book. If you do not have anyone in your address book, then I’m afraid the “work” virus has already corrupted your life.

Cybersalt.

Written by peelingtheorange

May 5, 2011 at 10:05 pm

Posted in Giggles

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