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The Difference Between Men & Woman

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Let’s say a guy named Fred is attracted to a woman named Martha. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they’re driving home, a thought occurs to Martha, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: “Do you realize that, as of tonight, we’ve been seeing each other for exactly six months?”

And then, there is silence in the car.

To Martha, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he’s been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I’m trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn’t want, or isn’t sure of.

And Fred is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Martha is thinking: But, hey, I’m not so sure I want this kind of relationship either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I’d have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily towards mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Fred is thinking: …so that means it was…let’s see…February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer’s, which means…lemme check the odometer…Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Martha is thinking: He’s upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I’m reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed – even before I sensed it – that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that’s it. That’s why he’s so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He’s afraid of being rejected.

And Fred is thinking: And I’m gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don’t care what those morons say, it’s still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It’s 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Martha is thinking: He’s angry. And I don’t blame him. I’d be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can’t help the way I feel. I’m just not sure.

And Fred is thinking: They’ll probably say it’s only a 90-day warranty.

And Martha is thinking: Maybe I’m just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I’m sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Fred is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I’ll give them a warranty. I’ll take their warranty and stick it right up their…

“Fred,” Martha says aloud.

“What?” says Fred, startled.

“Please don’t torture yourself like this,” she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. “Maybe I should never have…oh dear, I feel so…”(She breaks down, sobbing.)

“What?” says Fred.

“I’m such a fool,” Martha sobs. “I mean, I know there’s no knight. I really know that. It’s silly. There’s no knight, and there’s no horse.”

“There’s no horse?” says Fred.

“You think I’m a fool, don’t you?” Martha says.

“No!” says Fred, glad to finally know the correct answer.

“It’s just that…it’s that I…I need some time,” Martha says.

(There is a 15-second pause while Fred, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)

“Yes,” he says. (Martha, deeply moved, touches his hand.)

“Oh, Fred, do you really feel that way?” she says.

“What way?” says Fred.

“That way about time,” says Martha.

“Oh,” says Fred. “Yes.” (Martha turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

“Thank you, Fred,” she says.

“Thank you,” says Fred.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Fred gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a college basketball game between two South Dakota junior colleges that he has never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it’s better if he doesn’t think about it.

The next day Martha will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it either.

Meanwhile, Fred, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Martha’s, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: “Norm, did Martha ever own a horse?”

And that’s the difference between men and women.

Cybersalt.

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Written by peelingtheorange

March 17, 2011 at 5:50 pm

Posted in Giggles

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Hurts to Touch

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One day, a goober was constantly complaining about how everywhere she touched her body, it hurt.

Her grandma told her to go and see a doctor.

Once there, the goober explained to the doctor how everywhere she touched, it hurt.

She said… “If I touch here, it hurts, if I touch my arm, it hurts, if I touch my foot, if I …”

The doctor gave her a complete physical and then delivered his findings.

Her finger was broken.

Cybersalt.

Written by peelingtheorange

February 17, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Posted in Giggles

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The Cross without Religion.

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Without The Cross there isn’t Church. Without The Church there isn’t Love. Yes, Love is self existent, yes, self sufficient in nature, but how you see it without a recipient to give it away? And we all need Love to keep running this wonderful race called Life, ones need a little more than others, and most of us need to learn how to grow in it, how to express it. How to become it. The reflection of Love…WE are. We Humans are the ones.

Written by peelingtheorange

January 18, 2011 at 11:07 pm

Posted in My Boss

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Where IS my Freedom?

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Beyond anything that I can dare to imagine overwhelming me there is greater power. And the good news is that even if is already made possible for me to posses such a source, I, have the pleasure to obtain it. Now, in every vision there is a war exalting itself in my face, but my muscles I’m getting them trained, daily, to overcome the obstacles of my own future been re-written with my own passion. If there is someone who wants to be known as an overcomer, that is me.

I thought that getting my dreams fulfill would be enough testimony to inspire someone, now when that is certainly powerful, there is something beyond that which is the way I live my life. Otherwise I could obtain the goal, but be death. No, I want LIFE before anything I’m fighting for. I keep fighting but always in constant awareness that the source of me being COMPLETED comes from the inside. I fight the good fight “for” something, more than against something, but even then I am reminded in my soul of what really is my freedom. In the place where all chains are broken. In the presence of LOVE.

Once you are there, there are no chains…and you would never be the same.

Do everything you have to in order to pursue those goals set before you from the Divine order, but always remember that your FREEDOM comes from being loved by Him, and by you pouring out what is inside of you meant to be in awe of Him. God is worthed all of our passion. And He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

Would obtaining life which comes from seeking Him be enough LIFE for you?
It would! That I can say for sure…YES!!! Life is good at His company.

God is so good.

Written by peelingtheorange

December 5, 2010 at 6:58 pm

Posted in Furious Love

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The Business Of a Prayer being Heard!

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Weeks ago I wrote about my experience on the knowledge of success being the fruit of those precious stones been given from the source of Life…Intimacy with God. It is not that simple to begin to listen to every revelation that would sure bring success. It is more than that if you want to face your greatest dreams coming around the corner. Have you overcame something today? That’s a missing piece.

Prayer is simply to me a conversation based on a “relationship”, so simple and so profound at the same time. Takes humility to receive for free such a gift as to be on the face of the Almighty. Nevertheless, such a precious treasure can not be carry by someone that has not forsake the “wish” for any refuge that had exalt itself before God. God must always be our number one.

Well, that would keep me running for a season, until I wrapped it into a new note.

Keep Dreaming, Keep Asking, and Keep your Prayers with Confidence and Faith.

Great Love!

Written by peelingtheorange

November 10, 2010 at 5:16 am

Posted in Furious Love

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Academic Phrases and Meanings

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The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the mysterious language of science and medicine. These special phrases are also applicable to anyone working on a Ph.D. dissertation or academic paper anywhere!

“It has long been known”… I didn’t look up the original reference.

“A definite trend is evident”… These data are practically meaningless.

“While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to the questions”… An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.

“Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study”… The other results didn’t make any sense.

“Typical results are shown”… This is the prettiest graph.

“These results will be in a subsequent report”… I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded.

“In my experience”… once “In case after case”… twice “In a series of cases”… thrice “It is believed that”… I think.

“It is generally believed that”… A couple of others think so, too.

“Correct within an order of magnitude”… Wrong.

“According to statistical analysis”… Rumor has it.

“A statistically oriented projection of the significance of these findings”… A wild guess.

“A careful analysis of obtainable data”… Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of pop.

“It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding of this phenomenon occurs”… I don’t understand it.

“After additional study by my colleagues”… They don’t understand it either.

“Thanks are due to Joe Blotz for assistance with the experiment and to Cindy Adams for valuable discussions”… Mr. Blotz did the work and Ms. Adams explained to me what it meant.

“A highly significant area for exploratory study”… A totally useless topic selected by my committee.

“It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigation in this field”… I quit.

Cybersalt.

Written by peelingtheorange

November 4, 2010 at 10:41 pm

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Forsaking the Nets!!!

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Walking down the street I remember my dreams
The ones that you sown in my heart from the beginning
Then I stop and realize that I must run those pearls
Then I realize I must run the other way

I came back to my place and make my bags ready
I packed just enough to run after my desires
They’re not just mine but from the King’s heart
All I guard to give glory to whom makes me alive

I left all behind with all those glories that began to fade
Time is now to search for that Joy I saw there
To walk into whom I am in my extravagant days
Those that you’ve promised from the redemption day

I pack the clothes, books, and no memories
I look into the future with every glimpse of gladness
I just look at your countenance every time I walk
Now almost ready to unfold your awesome wonders

I see a future where I can shout your name for all you did
I see a future full of stories to tell from my path at your side
I see a future like never before I dreamed
I see even better when thinking from your heart

Tell me more
Tell me more
Tell me more
Tell me more…My God

Rushing like the wind full of hopes that you spoke about
And you can even go beyond my wildest dwellings
My thoughts can not stand alone but with my peace and passion
Full of adventures is my eyesight waiting for

My God, My God, I know you have it all!!

Written by peelingtheorange

October 9, 2010 at 2:21 am

Posted in My Boss

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