Peeling the orange's Blog

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Posts Tagged ‘laugh

Know Your Friends

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One day, a little boy visited a doctor for a vaccination. After the doctor gave him an injection, he tried to bandage the boy’s arm.

“I think you’d better bandage the other arm, doc!”, said the boy.

“But, why? I’m supposed to bandage the injected part of your arm to let your friends know not to touch it.”

“Doc, you really don’t know anything about how my friends behave!”

Cybersalt.

Written by peelingtheorange

August 31, 2011 at 12:21 am

Posted in Giggles

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Wacky Definitions

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Wacky Definitions

Gravity: Not just a good idea, it’s the law!

Gross ignorance: 144 times worse than normal ignorance.

Clock: A small mechanical device to wake up people without children.

Karaoke: A Japanese word meaning “tone deaf”.

Opera: Where a guy gets stabbed in the back and sings about it.

Racial prejudice is a pigment of the imagination.

“Normal”: A setting on a washing machine.

Health: The slowest possible rate of dying.

Poverty: Having too much month left at the end of the money.

Boy: A noise with dirt on it.

Sleep: That fleeting moment just before the alarm goes off.

Cynic: Someone who smells the flowers and looks for the casket.

Witlag: The delay between delivery and comprehension of a joke.

Skier: Someone who pays an arm and a leg to break them.

Cybersalt.

Written by peelingtheorange

May 21, 2011 at 11:41 am

Things It Takes Most Of Us 50 Years To Learn

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1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.

2. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

3. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

4. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”

5. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

6. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”

7. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

8. You should not confuse your career with your life.

9. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter/janitor, is not a nice person.

10. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

Cybersalt.

Written by peelingtheorange

May 10, 2011 at 12:20 am

Posted in Giggles

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Boys In Hospital

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The two young boys were discussing their ailments together in the children’s ward.

“Are you medical or surgical?” asked the first, who had been in the ward for a week.

“I don’t know what you mean,” replied the second.

“It’s simple,” replied the first.

“Were you sick when you came in here? Or did they make you sick when you got here?”

Cybersalt.

Written by peelingtheorange

May 10, 2011 at 12:09 am

Posted in Giggles

Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Rapid Promotion

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The boss called one of his employees into the office.

“Rob,” he said, “you’ve been with the company for a year. You started off in the post room, one week later you were promoted to a sales position, and one month after that you were promoted to district manager of the sales department. Just four short months later, you were promoted to vice-chairman. Now it’s time for me to retire, and I want you to take over the company. What do you say to that?”

“Thanks,” said the employee.

“Thanks?” the boss replied. “Is that all you can say?”

“I suppose not,” the employee said. “Thanks, Dad.

Cybersalt.

Written by peelingtheorange

May 5, 2011 at 10:36 pm

Posted in Giggles

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